Last week of January I was listening to Nick Flora's beautiful EP titled "Futureboy" when Jason called to tell me he had suddenly lost his job. I haven't shared about that experience here, but as I have been re-listening to Nick's EP this week, I remember very clearly when I hung up the phone and the EP filled my car again these words came on:
"Though I know I can't control,
whats to come and whats on hold
it won't stop me from trying.
Never been one for letting go,
its hard to grasp what we'll never know
we'll still try and try.
But we'll never know
that the future holds but we'll
spend out time trying to travel in our minds
to the great unknown."
I was on my way to Winston to get my haircut. I had, what felt like too much time, to be with my over working mind. I wasn't fearful of us making it finically (I really have no idea why that was) but my biggest fear was that we'd tell our social worker and our books would be removed until Jason found a new job. That was the biggest fear that haunted me until we told our social worker and she was very understanding and didn't say anything about our books being pulled. Jason found a job quicker than a lot of people do in times of unemployment. We didn't have to touch our savings which was such a huge gift, as many do. In a session of our life where we are fundraising and saving additional funds towards the high cost of adoption, its amazing to see how God was very loud in our lives durning that time. Words written by Nick Flora that was so very needed. Protection on our savings. We could of been a lot more stressed out durning that time (we were, don't get me wrong). Just to name a few things that stand out in my mind durning that period.
Now 6 months later, listening to that same song, I find it so fitting for the waiting period we are in. A lot of times, the "whats on hold" line sticks out to me, but today, its "travel in our minds to the great unknown" which is simply thinking of actually having the honor of becoming an adoptive Mom. When we'll get the phone call that a birth mother has finally picked us ("though I know I can't control whats to come"). Wondering who this little person will be that we'll be ours. Who will hopefully not mind that their Mama has a thing for hippos so their nursery is full of them. Tearing up at the lyrics from Hamilton "I'll do whatever it takes, I'll make a million mistakes." thinking of this tiny baby we hope and long for.
Since many of asked as of late, wanted to share a fundraising update, which is a pretty exciting one. We are only $2,591 away from our goal of $25k which is beyond amazing. At the start of this, $25k felt like so much money (cause it is!) that it felt almost out of reach. To be less than $3k away from it... just blows our minds. Thank you all so much for giving when you didn't have to give. For believing for us on the hard days. Students who tell me they can't wait to hold our baby and that I'll make such a great Mom. For being a part of our adoption story in such a tangible way. Thank you thank you thank you. Wish there was more words, bigger words, to express our gratitude for the hope that you guys bring to us each step of the way.